One of the major perks that I have been excited about in regards to this surgery was getting away from the dreaded underwire. I hate underwire bras with a passion, plus they are unhealthy. Something I have known for years and yet cannot do much about it. If I go without underwire, than there is more pain. So, today, I went bra shopping with a friend to get my post-surgery sports bra, and do some cup sizing, to psych myself up.
The thing is this, 98% of all the bras I saw, in five different stores, contained underwire! In all sizes! It is ridiculous. Most sports bras had underwire as well. In all sizes. I thought that large breasted women suffered alone in the underwire phenomena, but no, it has invaded everywhere. And so many bras are padded. I am starting to understand the amount of women who suffer through surgery and poor health to increase their size. Just about every chest garment for women is meant to increase size and re-shape your breasts. What the hell is wrong with the shape of women's breast? Why are women putting up with this? I know, I know, the bra issue seems like a small one. But I also know that an uncomfortable bra is a major distraction, taking my mind away form more productive thought process. The amount of time that women are made to browse for a bra is ridiculous.
I was looking forward to the days of painfree bra shopping. Of trying on bras without being close to tears as I try to stuff my poor boobs into wired cups that I inevitably spill out of. Sure of some conspiracy that "they" are changing the cup sizes every year, because there is no fucking way I am larger than a double D. Seeing myself in the full length mirror looking like a stuffed sausage, and knowing it will just get worse after I put on the re-enforced tank top to hold it all together. And than maybe, if the day is just right, I will be able to button my shirt up.
Like I said, I was looking forward to those days. Then I began to understand that it will still be a struggle, that I will still have to search for the function bra. The one that just holds me in place, that doesn't try to enhance me or shape me. Maybe, if I am very lucky, I will be able to manage the situation with a simple re-enforces tank top. That would be lovely indeed.
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I have decided to keep this log for various reasons. I have decided to keep it on-line for one simple reason. When I contemplated having the surgery, reading other journals was very helpful. The writting is just random writting, I am tryng to be as impulsive and honest as possible. Please feel free to post comments if you have any questions. If you have or know of a good link, please inform me. I really believe that in order to demystify all of this, it needs to be discussed openly.
